Grandma died in January at the age of 99.
She left a legacy of fond memories and a house at 568 Pelham Blvd. in St. Paul, occupied by her 68-year-old retired bachelor son, who is recovering from a heart operation and dealing with a bad hip. He wants to move out of the family home to a more suitable situation in South Minneapolis.
We laughed
We said we'd help. We listed the property with ReMax and called the dumpster company. They said the smallest unit was 20 feet long by 8 feet wide by 4 feet deep. We laughed and said we didn't have near enough to fill it, but send it anyway.
Now, Grandma Florence lived simply in a modest Cape Cod with a garage out back and a full basement. The realtor lists it at a bit more than 1100 square feet. Grandpa Leonard died over 30 years ago (Incidentally, he used to fish sunfish a lot in Forada) and nobody wanted to throw his stuff out; then Auntie Bubbles died at a different location 15 years ago and, before her estate sale, the good stuff was "saved" in grandma's attic. Brother Jim died tragically 13 years ago and nobody felt like throwing his stuff away, too painful. You start to get the picture.
Then, on the Seventh Day, we rested
We started last Wednesday. (You may have noticed not much has been posted here recently.) Seven days later, we can breathlessly report that we're done. See photo at left, you might spot Katie. The dumpster may be full, but, even so, the house is still completely staged and furnished. (You can't sell an empty house, we're told). No appliances or yard waste were put in the dumpster, that's illegal. Knick-knacks, kitsch, and dust catchers have been boxed and stacked three-high in the garage for personal review and claiming by any relative with emotional attachments.
Antiques? Three beat-up mini-van loads of vintage wooden chairs, tables and dressers were sold, cash on the barrel, to Roy from Mendota Heights. Roy's a striking Northwest Airlines mechanic who fancies himself to be a stripper, now intending to reveal gorgeous original walnut hidden beneath copious layers of grandpa's finishes. You go Roy.
The stuff that wasn't antique, but still useable -- like lawn chairs, Christmas ornaments, garden tools, flower pots, beds, chicken wire, gas cans, hazardous waste, old batteries, and tons of other items, was set out on the boulevard with a "free" sign on it. We marveled as it disappeared like pizza pie from a freshman dorm.
So, seven days later, the material in the dumpster is, well, picked over, authenticated, certified junk.
Start now
So please, my friends, the moral of this story: Don't do this to your children. Start now. Recycle, give it away, sell it, junk it, toss it out, burn, simplify, reduce. Let your legacy be fond memories and not the detrius of misbegotten intentions.
By the way. If you know anybody who would like a very nice Cape Cod on Pelham Blvd. in St. Paul, it is listed for just $197,500. Nice neighborhood. All appliances included. Lots of storage space.
Email the trailboss@swpub.com