The Year In Review, Courtesy of Tom Obert

The Trailboss solicited personal Christmas letters from Class of 65ers. Happily, we got a response from our Alexandria correspondent and lifetime DFLer Tom Obert. Bev Roers also sent us a poem about class reunions that is an old favorite (check it out in the January archives).

Tom writes:
This past year we said our final good-byes to far too many old friends; new friends; siblings, children and parents of friends: “Hop” Namur, Lila Dziuk, Frank Blanchard, Esther Seeger, Theresa Annen, Pat Cooper, Mayo Johnson, Ron Gorena, Les Engstrom

JAN 1 – 31 - We finally had a winter – with many 30 below zero days. O.J. Simpson emerges as a potential suspect in the Laci Peterson case.
FEB 14 - Why do we even have juvenile laws when every time a juvenile commits a crime prosecutors want to try them as adults?
FEB 27 – President Bush amends the original Axis of Evil list to include any and all suspects in the Laci Peterson case. “They’re just evil and they hate freedom,” the President is alleged to have said.
MAR 18 – APR 7 – We took a 6,000-mile driving trip through the “red” states. We were generally treated kindly, nevertheless.
APR 2 – Ruthie [Tom's wife] became secretary for the Douglas County DFL – are bigger things ahead?
APR 17 – We were delegates to the 7th District DFL convention in Detroit Lakes. We mostly came away with an envy for their recreation center. Laci Peterson case preempts the total disappearance of Australia on MSNBC.
APR 26 – We finally completed Ruthie’s laundry room with new cabinets. Unlike the current administration, she did a tremendous job vetting her cabinet positions.
APR 30 – The first lawn mow of the year – could summer be far behind? (Of course, the passage of time revealed an extreme lack of summer this year.)
MAY 10 – We launched the Moby Obie – could summer be far behind? (See April 30.) Laci Peterson case sets record with 4,286 consecutive hours of coverage on FOX News.
MAY 21 – 23 - We were delegates to the State DFL convention in Duluth. We have never been so cold in our lives!
MAY 26 – JUN 6 – Ruthie went to San Diego with her sister Rita to visit Rita’s daughter Beth – Tom stayed home to babysit the cat. Laci Peterson case appears on 236 satellite channels simultaneously.
JUN 11 – 13 – We competed in the last Bremer Cup golf tourney, our club’s version of the Ryder Cup. We’re hoping the club will continue the format for this year with another sponsor. Tom has no recollection as to how he performed.
JUN 24 – 28 – Aunt Pearl and Uncle Ted from Loveland, Colorado visited. We were mid-way on their train trip across Canada (they got off at Winnipeg and rented a car for their visit here). The required visitor’s lakes tour on the Moby Obie required down parkas and hot toddies.
JUL 2 – 9 – Grandson Tommy and his Indiana grandparents, Fran and Ed, visited. Events included the July 4th boat parade (again in full winter regalia), Joey Dee and the Starlighters at the winery, golf and fishing.
JUL 17 – Elian Gonzalez returned to Cuba, two months after once again landing safely on Florida shores, when he discovered he could not afford the cost of health insurance here.
JUL 31 – Tom played in the golf club championship – he has no recollection as to how he did. Laci Peterson jury requests a sabbatical because they’re just plain sick and tired of hearing about this case.
AUG 3 - 72 cable news channels pull reporters from Iraq and Afghanistan to cover the Laci Peterson case.
AUG 7 – 8 – Old D.C. golf buddies, Jim (and Ruth Anne) Brown and Danny (and Sandy) Funkhouser, paid their first visit to Lake Wobegon. We decide there should be an annual re-union here of the old fivesome.
AUG 20 –22 – We manned the DFL booth at the Douglas County fair – we had such high hopes….
AUG 30 – Elian Gonzalez was rumored to be considering a return to the United States until he learned he was a suspect in the Laci Peterson case.
SEP 10 – 12 – The wine festival set new attendance records. Orrin “Toonsie” Foslien stars with a stirring rendition of Ruthie’s favorite song: Gladys Isn’t Gratis Anymore!
SEP 12 – 18 – In a mad dash after car troubles, Ruthie’s sister Rita and her friends Karen and Darlene arrived from Indiana in time for the last day of the wine festival.
SEP 25 - Completion of Alexandria’s major 3rd Avenue project reintroduced locals to the use and function of the middle finger. For now imposed on our community is the double left turn lane, the bane of mankind and overpopulated suburbs everywhere, and for people unfamiliar there is a tendency to drift from the inside lane to the outside lane while making the turn.
OCT 2 – 9 – Rita and Ruthie’s Mom, Janella, came up from Indiana and Rita’s daughter Beth, from San Diego, and a friend of hers from the Cities paid a visit. I seem to recall they didn’t have good weather.
OCT 7 – We took out Moby Obie for the year – we were glad Rita was here to help clean the lift canopy. The cold summer was gradually giving way to a warm fall.
OCT 15 – First snow – not much. Didn’t snow again until the 1st week in December. I seem to remember sending out a missive claiming the weather in November was much better than it had been in August (when the guys had to mow the golf course in their snowmobile suits).
NOV 2 – There was some sort of election……..
NOV 3 – Somehow in spite of events of the preceding day, millions of American homosexuals got up, made coffee, went to work, came home, ate dinner, watched TV, and went to bed.
NOV 5 – Old buddy Tom Kiehne from Austin, Texas came up to visit his folks on the end of a business trip to the Cities. Coverage of the Laci Peterson case, rather than the election results, is determined to be the major cause of mass emigration to Canada.
NOV 6 – We attended Basketball Dan’s annual turkeyfest – to the best of all attendee’s now limited memories, a consensus was reached that this one set an attendance record.
NOV 18 – Tom attended his first meeting as a board member at the golf club. His complaints that the election was rigged – 4 candidates for 4 openings – fell on deaf ears.
NOV 23 – Our big screen TV Christmas present to each other arrived – ho, ho, ho!! We set our V-Chip to exclude any reference to the Laci Peterson case.
DEC 1 – Gag gift of the year: Ruthie bid on and won a 3-month health club membership for Tom. Even funnier, he’s using it (well, so far). He does, however, have to pay user fees on the treadmills (kinda like the extra road taxes 18-wheelers have to pay).

(Okay. Fire back. We want your Christmas letter too. Send it to Trailboss@swpub.com)