The Year in Review from our own Bleeding Hearts

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2005
The black cloud of planned obsolescence hung over the Obert household the last couple of months this year: first our stereo crapped out (yet to be replaced), then our computer bombed, and then Tom got a "check engine" light on his car.
Of course, losing the computer was devastating for purposes of this "news" letter, for we lost our calendar (and complete history of 1933 Darling Heights Place, NW) and for the life of us, we can’t remember what (and when what) happened this year. Nevertheless, as liberals we will forge ahead in the alleged tradition of the liberal press and make it up as we go along. And undeterred, as liberal do-gooders, we will continue to give to the local food shelf and restrict our viewing and listening habits to PBS only.

JAN 1 – We seem to recall being in Indiana with Ruth’s family – Ruthie’s birthday is New Year’s Day and her sister Rita’s birthday is New Year’s Eve. Re-read last year’s newsletter - wherever you come across Laci Peterson, insert Natalee Holloway.
FEB 14 - Our 4th anniversary (and they said it wouldn’t last) – we think the 4th is lutefisk. Actually, we’ve been together since 1988 – and Woody’s been with us the whole time. Since most people just want to know about him, the boy is doing just fine though his vision is restricted to detecting movement only – but he still goes crazy over catnip (Tom’s always been meaning to try some of that stuff).
MAR 20 – We seem to recall traveling to Texas to visit Anne and Tom Kiehne, Sandy and Dick Dush, and Liz and Wally Lindell en route to St. Louis for the NCAA Final Four. Along the way we visited LBJ’s boyhood home and the Clinton Library in Little Rock. In St. Louis, Steve Deters re-joined the long-time Final Four traveling group of Basketball Dan, Gus Campuzano, and me, and Ruthie’s mom and sister Rita joined us from Indiana. Upon return home, Ruthie got into a letter writing campaign with several federal agencies regarding the lack of restrooms in the vicinity of the Arch – she had a confrontation with security at the Arch about whether her mom could use their "facilities" without paying the entrance fee.
MAR 31 – Ronald Reagan’s funeral finally ended - upon its completion, we awoke to discover that 42 elementary schools, 22 major highways, 237 boulevards, 12 dams, 3 women’s shoe stores, and the national currency of Grenada had been renamed in his honor. A Big Mac in Grenada now costs two and one-half reagans.
MAY 9 – Newsweek was determined to be the cause of the war in Iraq. The entire staff of the magazine was subpoenaed by the Fitzgerald grand jury.
MAY 12 – The media’s (and thus, the public’s) obsession with the runaway bride disproves the theory of Intelligent Design.
MAY 31 – In what was otherwise a slow year for visitors, we seem to recall Rita first visited probably within a month of this date. Deep Throat was revealed as an un-indicted co-conspirator in the Michael Jackson case.
JUN 6 – Congress leapt into action to protect us all from the scourge of steroid use among professional athletes. On the same day, Tom DeLay accepted another $10 million from K Street lobbyists.
JUL 4 – We seem to recall that Jami, Danny, and grandson Tommy were here from Indiana to partake in the annual Independence Day boat parade on Lake Carlos. Tommy caught a big fish, and we went to a summer practice of the girls’ high school hockey team (9-0 as of this writing this year). The Indiana branch of the family are big hockey fans and provide boarding for an Indianapolis Ice hockey player.
JUL 6 – Our most reliable visitor to the Obert B&B, Mark Brown, arrived from the East and recalled that in 4 nights and 3 days we golfed at both AGC and Geneva, had breakfast at Lloyd’s Daughter’s Café, went to the Lake Darling Association annual meeting/dinner at Arrowwood where we introduced him as a NOAA bigshot from D.C., had peach chardonnay and music at the winery, went to the girls’ hockey practice (cool place on a very hot day), went to the Andrews Sisters play at Theater Le Homme Dieu (the longest running summer theater in Minnesota), had walleye with Tom’s Mom and Ruthie’s family at Bugaboo Bay, pulled Brother Cam & his son Michael on tubes behind the Moby Obie (Ruthie later was upset when we "dumped" her from her new tube), and had broasted chicken at the golf club buffet. We ask you, is this Vacationland America, or what?
JUL 28 – We seem to recall visiting Kathy and Will Skadsberg for our annual (or did we do two this year?) cruise on Lake Minnetonka. While we had an excellent adventure, all involved believe it probably paled in comparison to the Minnesota Vikings’ cruise in the fall.
AUG 6 – Tom’s 40th high school reunion - to paraphrase Minnesota’s own, Garrison Keillor, all the women were still beautiful and all the guys were walking advertisements for Hair Club for Men. Stan Rolfsrud established a class blog site (see http://www.65roundup.blogspot.com/) where we are all encouraged to submit stories (i.e., lies, misstatements, fabrications) about our still 32-inch waistlines, our incredibly smart and talented grandchildren, and our 6.9 golf handicaps when we can’t get our backswings past parallel anymore. In actuality, of course, we go mall walking, use a can of talcum powder daily to prevent chafing in the damp spots when we mall walk, can only chew on our right sides, can no longer drive after dark, and perform foot care with a belt sander.
AUG 30 – Hurricane Katrina (an "incident of national significance") struck the gulf coast with devastating results; Ellen DeGeneres was determined to be at fault.
SEP 3 – William Rehnquist, Chief Justice of that "liberal" (so described by a local letter writer) Supreme Court, died. Was this God’s answer to Pat Robertson’s prayer?
SEP 9 – We seem to recall that Ruthie’s mom and two sisters visited around this time for the annual grape stomp at Carlos Creek Winery. The girls did a lot of shopping while here; Tom played golf. President Bush returned from yet another Crawford vacation – had to ask a local tour guide for directions to White House.
SEP 12 – Tom discovered that he has a "floater" in his right eye. Despite discovering that this is quite common for a person of his advanced age, in this instance the cause was determined to be his affection for Ellen DeGeneres.
OCT 16 - Congress leapt into action to protect us all from the scourge of flag burning sweeping the country. Also on this day, 32,178 uninsured people checked into various hospital emergency rooms across the country.
NOV 24 – Thanksgiving proved to be a mini class reunion. Tom Kiehne came up from Texas to visit his folks and we all stopped by the Greg Johnson family get together.
DEC 10 – RIP Eugene McCarthy and Richard Prior. Remember it was McCarthy who said about George Romney’s claim he was brainwashed that a "light rinse would have done."
DEC 21 – We decided not to have a holiday party this year because, by constitutional amendment, it must now be called a Christmas party and we would have to exclude some of our Druid friends. Pat Robertson, accordingly, took us off his Christmas card list. p.s. Elton finally gets to wed his guy.

WISHING YOU AND YOURS A HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON
(OK, AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TOO)

Tom and Ruth Obert