A long-winded anti-war liberal gets a response

Tom Obert writes: It is not paranoia if they really are out to get you!!
Ruthie had two paid political letters in the newspaper this week, and I had a 450 word anti-war commentary.
We suspect they may have had something to do with what we found at the end of our driveway today. We live on a dead-end road, and our mailbox was the only one to be hit - making it appear to be something other than a random incident.
The Douglas County sheriff's department is on the case, and we are demanding the death penalty, or a lifetime watching Jerry Falwell (whichever is deemed to be the harshest), for the culprits if they are ever apprehended!

Trailboss sez: Geez, Tom, sorry about the incident, but judging by the condition of your post, it looks like your mailbox was about to come down on its own anyway. Could have come down this winter when the ground was frozen. You caught a break. Now get down to Menard's for that do-it-yourself homeowner's erection kit and get that mailbox properly set. It will help calm you. And by the way, maybe the criminal was just peeved by the length of your essay. 450 words does seem like an awful lot.

Anon: Hey Tom, check the side of your car for a dent. Might have got a bit close on your way home from the club Saturday night.

Tom sez: The "mailbox incident" will be featured on the next episode of Douglas County, CSI, and it has become the No. 1 issue in the campaign for county sheriff!!