Blog closure has profound implications

By Tom Obert
Cub Reporter

[Dateline: Alexandria]
Word of the "temporary" shut-down of the Class of '65 blogsite hit this small midwestern city on the edge of the plains like a wildfire. Anxious citizenry responded spontaneously and without solicitation with one voice asked, "Where's the blog?"

First, the local media:

Echo Press editor Al Edenloff said, "Goodness, we rely on the blog for background on many of our stories. After all, who else really knew what went on at Seeger's?"

Echo Press sports editor Larry Holverson (Class of '66 -- above, right) lamented, "The Goose was my childhood idol!"

KXRA personality Patty Wicken (Class of '67), the "voice of Alexandria" and "Erc Aga wannabe" said, "I love reading the blog! However, the cub reporter's elevator doesn't go all the way to his pilot light!"

KXRA personality and all-around wild and crazy guy, Lonnie Wing, reportedly uttered, "What's a blog? And does any know the right way to put on these earphones?"

Other Alexandrians express similar concerns:

Dave (the voice of the Cardinals) and Evie Harris, with his mall walking "reporters," Bob and Vivian Annen, and Dave Hoyme, added this:

Dave Harris, from 3rd and 4th-hand accounts, said, "I don't know what these guys do for a life, but I do rely on them for reports about the Little Darlings."

Evie Harris, from similarly untrustworthy sources, stated that, "Until the blog, the girls hockey team only had three fans - Obert, Annen, and me!"

Bob Annen, whose sources are decidedly right-wing, noted, "The cub reporter is just slightly to the left of Karl Marx, but nobody takes more delight than me out of watching Our Little Darlings whup-up on those big city private schools!" Vivian Annen, from first hand sources at the games, "What the heck are the words to the fight song again?"

Dave Hoyme, in a moment of reflection, noted that, "The Trailboss never would have made it through confirmation without my inspired guidance!"

But wait, there's more. . .

Jim Hafdal (Class of '70, I believe), past president of and still member of the school board, and son of the school superintendent from the Class of '65 era, allegedly mumbled, "Are any members of the Class of '65 still alive?"

Jerry Van Kempen, noted mall walker and genuinely hilarious individual, seemed to recall that, "Wasn't Ellen a member of that class? Thank goodness she was able to overcome that handicap and ultimately became a functioning member of society."

Linda (Class of '68) and Tom Akenson, far left and far right, respectively, with friends, realtors extraordinaire, wondered, "Shouldn't those people be retiring and buying property from us by now?"

Mark and Mary Weston, proprietors of the world famous Weston Station, pleaded, "Since Old Broadway closed, we have more business than we can handle. Please tell those people to stay in the Cities!"

Kevin Klimek, winter entertainer at Carlos Creek Winery, politely offered, "If Ruthie requests 'Perfidia' one more time . . . however, I would be delighted to perform at the next reunion."

Carlos Creek Winery cat, "Meow! Maybe now I can get some rest."