Jerry Deleski gives us a legal update

Allstate Insurance functionary Jerry Deleski and his son, Brian, pay close attention to the laws governing citizen activity. Their agency may be called upon from time to time to indemnify their insured from the unintended consequences of laws still on the books, particularly in the State of Minnesota. A recent review of these laws has turned up the following actual statutes presently in effect.

Our concerned classmate, Jerry, has sent these along to us with a special note: "Stan, please see that Obert pays close attention to the last item on the list. JD."

Laws of Minnesota

• A Blue Earth, Minnesota, law declares that no child under the age of twelve may talk over the telephone unless monitored by a parent.

• A Minnesota tax form is quite thorough. Some would say too thorough. It even asks for your date of death.

• A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.

.• Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.

• Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.

• Clawson: There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

• Every man in Brainerd, Minnesota is required by law to grow a beard.

• Grand Haven: No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.

• Hibbing: It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.

• In Duluth, it is illegal to allow animals to sleep in a bakery.

• It is illegal to sleep naked.

• It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.

• It used to be legal in Minnesota to sell rolled candy on Sunday, and illegal to sell flat candy. The wafer people have gotten this one repealed.

• Minneapolis: Red cars can not drive down Lake Street

• Minnesotans are forbade from teasing skunks.

• No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
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Update from T. Obert:
Trailboss: Tell JD that Ruth's sister came to town yesterday, and we're taking her to Bella's on Broadway tonight. Garlic breath will certainly be an issue. Usually, my legal issues involve sleeping naked with a chicken on my head.