The meaning of jello

Our classmate Lorlee Bartos, a favorite contributor here, writes from Dallas:

Okay -- so while this guy was writing wonderful prose, I was pondering some of the other imponderables of growing up in Minnesota during the same era.

Jello
A telegram which said simply: “Start Making Jello Salads” was my signal that Cece had decided to get married.
I think the joke started at my brother’s wedding reception – a midsummer affair out on the lawn with a buffet lunch – ham sandwiches, relishes, wedding cake and that staple of every Minnesota reception --- jello salads. (This, of course, for any wedding beyond the cake and cookies variety and shy of a lavish, expensive catered affair, but they too have been known to serve a mold or two.)
Perhaps it was a conversation about that tradition, or jello salads in general, right now; I can’t even recall, but from then on – 1970 to 1981, whenever we discussed the possibility of her getting married or marriage in general – jello salads were a part of the discussion. I would merely ask “Is it time to start making jello salads?”
I could tell the depth of and the prognosis for the relationship by the response. Throughout those 11 years, I had not even needed to look for recipes.
Now for the uninitiated, jello salads are an art form unto themselves. It is not as simple as adding boiling water and ice cubes to the packaged powder and refrigerating until firm. Oh, no, that is mere jello and while it may be good for first time 7 year old cooks, certainly not satisfactory for momentous occasions.
For these concoctions, recipes are required with ingredients that can include canned fruit (pineapple is a favorite), cottage cheese, nuts, whipped cream, cranberry relish and grated vegetables to name a few.
The real goal of this art form is to produce something totally unrecognizable as jello and in order to be a success -- something which by the time it is finished weighs at least 9 pounds. Now I am not commenting on the taste, --- Indeed I have a few favorites [lime jello with cottage cheese, pineapple and nuts and cherry with cranberry orange relish and pecans, both served with a light mayo dressing]. In fact, I’m saving those recipes for my own momentous occasion.
You may wonder where these wondrous creations originate. Usually in someone’s kitchen, and then their fame spreads from county to county, through covered dish suppers, summer picnics, weddings and funerals. Or a particular product will inspire a whole new line of favorites. Cool whip, for example, was the inspiration of lots of creative cooks. Or a new flavor --- pistachio nut pudding – will lead to creations never imagined in rural America.
But what is popular this year at every occasion “Honey, I just must have that recipe” is passé next.
I suspected it might be time to survey the current favorites when I got a non-committal answer rather than a flat out negative when I asked a couple of months back. Sure enough, the mailgram arrived with its simple message. Not something as mundane as “Rick’s the one,” or “I’m engaged” or “You should see my diamond ring”, but rather “Start making jello salads.”
Not through 10 years of an off-again, on-again relationship with Dennis, did I even have to scout the recipe section of Better Homes and Gardens or consult the Ebenezer Lutheran Church Ladies Cookbook. Now the time is near. Logistics could be a problem. Somehow I don’t think the airline will understand an igloo cooler packed with glowing jello packed in dry ice. Imagine the look on the Western Union clerk’s face.
Now obviously they send strange messages all of the time, but you must admit that “Start making jello salads” certainly might leave one wondering. The receiving clerk assured Cece that she could have up to 50 words for the same price. Cece said it wouldn’t be necessary.
As indeed it wasn’t. I knew exactly what she meant.