A son is down and the world falls apart

Every parent's nightmare

Pat Kuhl Cain writes: I've debated about writing this for several weeks now and have finally decided I will. On Oct. 10th we got the phone call that is every parent's nightmare!
Our son, Sean, 31, was in a motorcycle accident near Crosby, Minn. As we were talking, he was being moved by helicopter to North Memorial Hospital in Robbinsdale.
We knew he was alive and that he had a broken left wrist and hand, a broken right lower jaw in 3 places, a broken nose, a broken vertebrae in his back and 3 compromised vertebrae in his neck. They had done a tracheotomy in the field -- a second one was done before the jaw surgery because the first was inserted too high. There was brain injury/swelling on the left side, plus bleeding in that area which the doctors felt would take care of itself and it did.

Brain injury, tubes, IVs, a miracle
Needless to say, the world falls apart about that time! When we arrived at the hospital, our daughter and her husband were already there and called us to say he would be okay - just would need surgeries and time to heal.
What a shock to walk in and see all those tubes, IV's etc., and there's only one place left to even touch him - his right arm. He had five surgical procedures during that first week and was in ICU about two weeks and a couple of days. We've learned more about brain injury than we probably ever wanted to know. But what can I say -- we have truly seen a miracle!

Thanksgiving
He was released to us on Thanksgiving Day and will stay with us until the doctor says he can take care of himself. The cast could come off this week yet, the trakes are okay, and the vest and supporting halo will probably be on until mid-January at least. Sometime after that he'll be able to return to his own place south of Aitkin.
Right now he needs some "nursing" care on the halo pins and cleaning under the vest, etc. Never did I think we'd be doing this type of care for one of our children at this stage in my life, but I'm thankful I can be doing it and he's here to receive it.

Could have, would have
We've were told at the hospital that anyone coming in with those neck and back injuries especially would normally be dead! He was not wearing his helmet, but a doctor said (off the record) that most likely had he had a helmet on, it would have severed his spinal cord!
There were so many times when it could have been severed. A couple buddies found him in the ditch where he was not breathing. They did not move him, but screamed in his ear until he gasped for air and started breathing.
The second night he was in the hospital, he was very sedated, but sat straight up in bed twice, while the back break was still "very unstable" as the doctor said.
We are very aware of just how close he came - several times - to being a para- or quadrapalegic! It is truly a miracle that he is so very close to being back to normal.
They say with a brain injury, people are never "back to normal", but he sure will be very close. The only area of weakness right now is remembering the name of something, but he can describe how it looks or what it does -- as if none of us ever forget something!
So, once again, I write how much of a miracle we have received and can "put up" with having him in our house again for a few weeks and driving him to speech and occupational therapy a couple weeks.

Keep in touch with your kids
We have truly felt and witnessed the power of prayer in our lives. We had - and have - friends and family from Canada and all across the U.S. praying for us and have really survived because of that strength. Our lives are getting a little bit back to a schedule - of a different kind, but things could be so different. I just want to add, keep in touch with your kids, and when possible, give them lots of hugs and kisses and TLC, regardless of how old or big they are! This one is about 11" taller than I am so I either have to stand on a stool or he has to cooperate and bend over for that hug and kiss -- but do it!

Postscript
Sadly, I learned through e-mails to friends of the past weeks that Kathy (Schultz) Hagemeister's oldest son's wife was killed in a car accident. What a sad time for them all.

And how many of us EVER thought we'd be going through things like this in our lives!

I've really enjoyed checking out this blog and hope more aren't as slow as I am to send something in.

Pat (Kuhl) Cain